


it ain't fair you died too young (like a story that had just begun)

by deloudedtomlinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, angst drabble, both fics I've uploaded louis' dead, i just had angst feels ok, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 02:54:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1534934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deloudedtomlinson/pseuds/deloudedtomlinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry just isn't Harry without Louis, is the thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it ain't fair you died too young (like a story that had just begun)

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry this is a lot like my other fic (even the title is from the same song ngl) but yeah i just felt like writing angst again. this is very much to my own benefit. comments and kudos are very much appreciated though!!

Harry didn't really understand. Like yeah, he got it. Louis was gone, but dead? Louis was literally never coming back. Maybe it was better that he didn't think too much about because when he did all that happened was his chest would hurt and he wouldn't talk to people for days and yeah.. He didn't really try to think about it. But the thing is, is that he can't /not/ think about it. Louis was everything, is everything. Louis' scent still lingers on their sheets because Harry absolutely refuses to wash it yet, grasping onto the last thing that actually reminds him Louis was real. Sure there are picture and videos. Things Harry looks at and watches when he's brave enough to do so, never ever wanting the way Louis laughed or smiled to leave his mind. He wants it forever ingrained in his memory. Before Louis died, Harry never understood why people called their phones, it struck Harry as odd, because why not just watch a video or voicemail? But Harry understood now, that sort of false hope he gets everytime he dials the number, he doesn't use the speed dial because he doesn't want to forget Louis' number either, he waits and listens to the rings like Louis' going to magically pick up the phone and tell Harry he loves him or "You won't believe who I just ran into at the store, Haz." But no, instead he gets the answering machine,words he already memorized a while ago. "Hey, it's Louis. I'm sorry I didn't pick up but I'll call ya back asap, I promise!" and then you'd hear Niall shouting a loud, "Byye!" and the last thing you heard was Louis laugh, and then the beep. And Harry would listen to that religiously, and it'd put a sad smile on his face, remembering the first time he heard it. 

Harry's least favorite thing was remembering the day he found out, the way he felt his heart actually disintegrate in his chest, leaving him empty and hollow. Sure the pain has numbed over the year and half Louis' been gone, but certain things will make the intensity of the burn return, leaving Harry clueless as to how to put himself back together because that was always Louis job. He knows it's weird, but he still loves Louis as much as the first day, if he tries hard enough he can remember how it felt sweeping Louis up that first time, how excited he- they were. 

He just misses Louis so much. 

It had been early on, someone asked Harry about his tattoos. "When you marry someone, what are they gonna think when you have tattoos for you old boyfriend." And of course, it had been insanely insensitive, and of course Niall punched them right in the face, but Harry lost it. He burst out, showed more emotion than he had sine Louis died; pure rage. Because how was he supposed to even think about marrying someone when he's just lost the love of his life? Harry punched and screamed and left without another word once he was finished. No one heard from him for three days, and when he came back he had a new tattoo. 

Harry thought about ending it, but he knew it was unfair. He didn't try, the thought just simply crossed his mind once night when he was curled up on his side because Louis always hated it when he woke up to Harry half on top of him.

He just wished he could see him one more time, just to make sure Louis knew he loved him, to take a long look at him and remember every detail. Harry still remembers how many freckles Louis had (72), how he likes his tea (milk, no sugar), and how his voice sounds when he woke up (gravelly and high pitched at the same time.) He'd tell Louis that he's the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up and the last thing he think about when he's going to sleep because it's the truth. He'd hold him and beg Louis not to leave because he can't do this without him. 

Harry just isn't Harry without Louis, is the thing.

**Author's Note:**

> endings aren't my forte, especially when I can't make it a happy ending :/


End file.
